Learn To Set Boundaries In Your Personal Relationships

Learn to set boundaries in your personal relationships by reading here! If you ask yourself if you set boundaries in your personal relationships, the most likely answer is “no”. Why? It may be because you think you have to give everything for a relationship. It puts you in danger of harming yourself.

Setting boundaries for your personal relationships will not get in the way of sincerely healthy relationships. Instead, it will make them grow.

When you do not set boundaries, you open the door to anyone, including manipulators, poisonous humans, and emotional vampires. This type of people can do a lot of harm.

Why is it so hard to set boundaries in your personal relationships?

The reason why we often do not set boundaries in our personal relationships is quite complicated. It stems from different types of fears, insecurities and even because of different beliefs that you may have.

For example, if you have low self-esteem, you think you are not as important as everyone else. Because of this you will find yourself in humiliation, insult and even manipulation.

If you do not set boundaries, it is often because you think you do not deserve them.

You may also have an unfounded fear of arguing with other people. The fear here is that they will refuse and will stop taking care of you, or that the conflict will undermine your safety.

After all, the biggest problem is not that you have low self-esteem. It’s not even that you do not want to argue with others. The problem is that you do not know how to set boundaries in your personal relationships.

You are not taught to be confident. You also do not learn to communicate or defend your own needs. But how can you change that?

• Start by saying “no” to anything you do not feel like or have time to do. It does not matter what others say if they become evil, or even how bad you can see. Do what you want to prioritize.
• Use “I” to say what you feel and want. For example: “I’m tired of going to this meeting”. Do not use excuses. Be prepared.
• Do not say you are sorry every time you say what you want. For example, you change “I’m sorry but I want to stay home” to “I want to stay home”.
• You must not justify yourself when giving an opinion or making a decision. You do not have to do this even if the other person is upset. You need to be sure of yourself.

Learn to be yourself

Setting boundaries for your personal relationships is sometimes necessary to learn to be yourself again. This means that you have to trust yourself and that you give up pleasing other people, and stop striving for their approval.

This is very difficult. After all, as children, we are taught to please people around us.

But small steps like saying “no” and stopping someone from getting you to change your mind to what they want can help you.

When should you set boundaries in your personal relationships?

The answer is when you feel uncomfortable.

The moment something takes your energy away from you, makes you feel uncomfortable, or demands all your attention, this is where you need to start setting boundaries.

This happens with all kinds of relationships. It happens with family, friends and with your partner. Sometimes when you give an inch they take a mile.

Because of this, it is very important to express yourself as you are.

This involves refusing to do something when you do not want to, expressing yourself without feeling guilty or ashamed of what others might think, and at the same time giving constant explanations.

You need to learn to look after your own well-being.  This does not depend on others, but only on yourself.

By doing this, you begin to see that you can change things. You can see how to learn to be more confident so you avoid letting others manipulate you and how to express what you want without feeling guilty or afraid of how others will react.

Do you want to start setting boundaries for your personal relationships today?